Saturday, August 18, 2007

My Big Fat Lying Life: I Can See at Last



The Other Bear and the Uncaring Bear at Uncaring Bear , this week's Fun Monday hosts, are requesting, "Share with us a little white lie that you may, or may not, have gotten away with. Perhaps it's something more sinister than a little white lie - maybe even a deep dark secret that you've kept buried for years! All the better! Now's your chance to get it off your chest and confess."

During my youth, honesty was not especially my strong suit. I lied to stay out of trouble. I lied to impress friends and enemies alike. And sometimes, I lied for no specific reason at all. Out of the many, many lies, I remember three specific white lies. Most of my lies seem rather bizarre to my adult self. When I was in grade school, my best friend found that she needed to wear glasses. Her first pair of glasses had interesting pearly white frames. Since this was the 1950's, the frames were probably those stylish cat's eye frames. For some reason, I wanted to wear glasses too so I told my friends that I needed glasses as well. Furthermore, I squinted at books and held them close to read to prove that I had poor vision. I was so proficient at this lie that I almost convinced my own better than 20/20 eyes that I could not see.

Another very strange fabrication involved telling a girlfriend that my name was Mollivia and that Molly was merely a nickname. Why would somebody lie about their name? Your guess may be as good as mine. Well, you might make up a better name, a dramatic name, or a poetic name...but Mollivia?

When I was in college, my lying days had diminished. But I remember telling a man with bloody gums, named Jim, that I was busy on the night of the first college dance. Bloody gums Jim then asked some of my friends to the same dance. My friends were honest with Bloody Gums telling him that they planned to attend the dance as singles. The honest girls went to the dance and had a good time. I stayed at home that evening and missed out on a fun evening.

Fortunately, as I gained maturity, I realized that honesty is actually easier than lying. Gradually, I quit feigning ailments, stopped making up fake names, and have refrained from creating artificial activities. Granted occasionally, I do tell white lies to avoid hurt feelings. If push comes to shove, I might tell you that I like your new hair cut. However, even then, I try to be creative in answering questions like, "Do you like my new hair cut?" I might respond, "How do you like your new haircut?" or "You have chosen interesting color."


Nowadays, I do wear glasses, and I wear them all the time. I miss the days when my vision was perfect. I really cannot imagine what possessed me to lie about needing glasses. I need them now to see, to read, to drive, to compute, to eat... honest. You do believe me. Right?

35 comments:

theotherbear said...

Great post, Mollivia.

And I think we have all had experiences like your college dance one. Although I probably would have gone anyway then got busted.

Arkansas Songbird said...

It is so true that some of the really stupid lies that we tell as children come around and bite us in the rear when we become adults. I remember lying about having cramps when I had no reason to have cramps. Stupid!!

lisa's chaos said...

Feels like we traveled your whole life and that's great. Felt like I got to know you better and wondered why I couldn't have come up with something like that, through the years.

Neat idea. I always enjoy seeing each person's take on our assignments. :)

Margaret said...

I am not a very good liar, so I try to stay away from it. However, I have told a few little white lies to get out of doing things I didn't want to, while sparing the other person's feelings.

Emma in Canada said...

Oh that made me laugh. Some people really went for the funny.

meggie said...

I would agree, Mollivia seems a very odd name! LOL. I remember wishing I had to wear glasses too, but now I dislike them for the heat they cause in Summer!

Beccy said...

I think lying is something we do as children too but then discover honesty is the best policy...unless we want to protect someones feelings.

I would have opted out of the dance too I think as I hate hurting people.

Hootin'Anni said...

Okay, okay...this week is all about little white lies right? So, let me tell you this, right here, right now. I think Mollivia is a very Shakespearian name!! Pretty!!! NOT!!! [actually if you wanna know my reaction, my honest reaction it'd be Yuk...sounds moldy!] *giggles* ---just joking of course.

My white lie is up and ready for your ---------? ? ?

her indoors said...

ok Mollivia, why would you want a name like that one!!!! and yes i would have gone to the dance and told him i changed my mind!

Lisa said...

I lied about my name sometimes too! Too common, everyone had it, I wanted something different and exotic.

swamp witch said...

I'm not good at lying and I don't have a good memory. My dad could sniff out even the tiniest of little white ones, so I was programmed to just tell the truth.

theotherbear said...

Mollivia,
John the Uncaringbear has posted his attempt on the topic over at our blog. Hope to see you there. Although he really is just trying to make himself look sweet and caring, I'm sure.

Tiggerlane said...

Mollivia! Sounds like you should wear all black, and black sunglasses.

Bloody Gums Jim? I am just DYING here! LOL!

Pamela said...

I'm with you on the glasses. I hate having to wear them.

Mollivia sounds like a country with a prince and princess.

I also have a difficult time expressing myself when someone asks for an opinion and mine is negative regarding a dress, shoes, make up etc.

Now, if I don't know the person and I see them walking away in the store or down the street, I have no trouble at all saying "Ugh!"

susan said...

At least you were a very creative liar...Molivia??? *snort*

Karina said...

Why is it that as kids we felt the need to lie about such silly things? I had my fair share of those types of little lies too...

daddy d said...

Vitamin-C would have solved that gum problem. That is 100 % true.

goldennib said...

Sounds like you both wanted to fit in and be different. Most kids go through that.

BGJ sounds like a good story character.

Joy T. said...

Mollivia...priceless! Quite the imagination if anything LOL

Amy W said...

I am not a good liar either, I don't guess too many people are.

wolfbaby said...

LOL to funny... glasses i wish i didn't need them!!

captain corky said...

Of course I do MJD, of course I do... See what happens when little girls lie? They wind up needing glasses when they get older. Age has nothing to do with it.

Kahless said...

Its horrible when a little lie cascades such that you pay bigger consequences later.

nikki said...

Mollivia?!?!? It's sounds like a foreign country! Loved the post. Thanks for the chuckle!

Karmyn R said...

Mollivia - at least you were close...and didn't say something like "My real name is Jessica, but they call me Molly". hee hee -

I think you could have been Mollivia from Bolivia.

Robinella said...

you just reminded me of a lie I told my friend in 3rd grade. we kept talking about how cool it would be to have a pet monkey and I remember finally saying that I had one and I dressed her in yellow baby dresses. what?!?!?!

Beckie said...

Mollivia, I like it!

I remember lying about some pretty stupid stuff as a kid. One time I told someone that I had been to the dentist, had a cavity, but it healed by itself. I was brilliant.

Tink said...

True story: My littlest brother wanted glasses so bad that he faked a bad eye exam to get them. After he got them, and started getting headaches, he confessed his lie and has never wanted to wear glasses again.

alisonwonderland said...

hey, theotherbear and i had the same idea: i was going to start this comment with "great stories, Mollivia"! :)

happy fun monday!

Robocop said...

The awkward moments of youth. Oh how I miss them.

Fianna said...

Mollivia!! That is classic!!

Those lies kids tell! They make absolutely no sense, and because of that, are just hilarious!

Thank you for your comment on my little lie! Fianna Day is an excellent idea! Perhaps a whole month!!! LOL!

And in furtherance of self-love, Kaytabug and I tag you for the "Stuart Smalley meme" - 10 things that you love about yourself!

Cazzie!!! said...

Yes, I believe you. I'd be lost without reading for sure :)

ChrisB said...

I tried to leave a comment yesterday but I see it didn't come through. I will think of you for ever more as 'Mollivia' when I read your blog :)

Raven_Dase said...

LOL!! I think i lied more about my age then my name!

Debs said...

Mollivia...love your post.

You crack me up.