My Big Fat Lying Life: I Can See at Last

The Other Bear and the Uncaring Bear at Uncaring Bear , this week's Fun Monday hosts, are requesting, "Share with us a little white lie that you may, or may not, have gotten away with. Perhaps it's something more sinister than a little white lie - maybe even a deep dark secret that you've kept buried for years! All the better! Now's your chance to get it off your chest and confess."

During my youth, honesty was not especially my strong suit. I lied to stay out of trouble. I lied to impress friends and enemies alike. And sometimes, I lied for no specific reason at all. Out of the many, many lies, I remember three specific white lies. Most of my lies seem rather bizarre to my adult self. When I was in grade school, my best friend found that she needed to wear glasses. Her first pair of glasses had interesting pearly white frames. Since this was the 1950's, the frames were probably those stylish cat's eye frames. For some reason, I wanted to wear glasses too so I told my friends that I needed glasses as well. Furthermore, I squinted at books and held them close to read to prove that I had poor vision. I was so proficient at this lie that I almost convinced my own better than 20/20 eyes that I could not see.

Another very strange fabrication involved telling a girlfriend that my name was Mollivia and that Molly was merely a nickname. Why would somebody lie about their name? Your guess may be as good as mine. Well, you might make up a better name, a dramatic name, or a poetic name...but Mollivia?

When I was in college, my lying days had diminished. But I remember telling a man with bloody gums, named Jim, that I was busy on the night of the first college dance. Bloody gums Jim then asked some of my friends to the same dance. My friends were honest with Bloody Gums telling him that they planned to attend the dance as singles. The honest girls went to the dance and had a good time. I stayed at home that evening and missed out on a fun evening.

Fortunately, as I gained maturity, I realized that honesty is actually easier than lying. Gradually, I quit feigning ailments, stopped making up fake names, and have refrained from creating artificial activities. Granted occasionally, I do tell white lies to avoid hurt feelings. If push comes to shove, I might tell you that I like your new hair cut. However, even then, I try to be creative in answering questions like, "Do you like my new hair cut?" I might respond, "How do you like your new haircut?" or "You have chosen interesting color."

Nowadays, I do wear glasses, and I wear them all the time. I miss the days when my vision was perfect. I really cannot imagine what possessed me to lie about needing glasses. I need them now to see, to read, to drive, to compute, to eat... honest. You do believe me. Right?